Who would be the better president?
by Cookiepiano
Summary: Trump or Hillary? That is the question. Choking younger siblings, coffee spit-takes, nothing is safe in this house. Two-or-three-shot.


**sooo... This might me a two, maybe three shot. Yeah. I think this is pretty good over a half hour period. Anyways, don't kill me over whats up with ally, and starling of Gotham!**

Trump or Hillary?

Dick munched on a muffin and grinned, reading the news section on his phone.

"Hey Jay." He mumbled around the muffin.

A grunt from the second Robin, who, in turn, was reading the newspaper and sipping coffee.

A fine day in February, Dick concluded. Melting snow on the ground and cloudy skies.

"Who'd you vote for? Trump or Hillary?"

Jason proceeded to make an incredibly childish spit take, the previous contents in his mouth spattering on the eldest mans face and plate of food.

Dick sputtered, spitting out coffee that landed in his mouth. "Dude gross!"

Tim regarded his elder brothers, guffawing. "Good job, Dick. How's that coffee taste?"

Dick responded by spewing his remaining mouthful into his napkin.

Jason coughed up coffee as he tried to control his laughter. Dick, who's eyelashes were simply dripping with coffee, who's face was covered in coffee, who's mop of hair was damp with coffee.

He thumped his chest, wheezing.

"I'd say," -Wheaze- "Trump, ob-" -ahack, Agh!- "Obviously."

Dick wiped the remaining coffee off his face, glaring. "Why Trump?"

Jason took a swig off coffee, swishing it around his mouth and swallowing. "Because, Trump likes guns. Trumps a good guy."

Tim rolled his eyes as he entered the room and helped himself. "Classy, the Rouge gun lover wanting a President who supports guns."

"He's better than Hillary! That woman is a witch!"

Damian entered, sleepy eyed. "Who is a witch? It we are discussing Catwoman, I agree. She must be a witch."

The boy sat down at the table and began idly eating. "Trump is better. Hillary is a hardcore lesbian, according to one of Stephanie's magazines."

They stared at the youngest. He stared back, his eyes darting back and forth.

"What?.."

Tim shook his head, shoving a forkful of eggs into his mouth. "I'm not even going to ask why your reading Steph's girly Tabloids."

"They are full of valuable information! Apparently Bruce Jenner wishes to be a man again."

Dick, having gotton a fresh coffee-free plate of food, chuckled. "He turned into a girl, Dami. People can do that nowadays."

"Impossible, one cannot change their genitals. She," he made sarcastic air quotes with his fingers. "Never was a she. He just got pieces of plastic inserted into his chest and started wearing makeup."

Jason grinned. "See? He gets it. We don't need a girl president, otherwise our manliness, or rather, what's left of it," -disgruntled grumbling- "Would be obliterated!"

"Damian you should really be more considerate, she felt like doing that because she wasn't comfortable being a man, she felt she always was a-"

"That is the most foolish excuse I have ever heard. You cannot just decide you wish to be a different gender on one day and then be the other on the next!"

"Trump believes in the second amendment! Go Trump!"

Tim glared at the three. He continued eating his eggs.

Damian slammed his hand on the table, his glass of milk tipping. "It would be like Todd deciding he is the Joker for a day!"

Dick yelped out something incomprehensible as Jason turned and tackled Damian, holding the boy in a headlock and wrapping a leg around his kicking feet.

"Don't EVER compare me to him!" He yelled.

Tim ate his eggs. Damian struggled, wincing as a hand slowly pushed harder on his pressure points.

"Jay knock it off! You're gonna hurt him!"

"Make 'im say sorry then!" Jason yelled back rather childishly, his grip tightening.

Damian snapped his teeth at any fingers that came close. He was in an awkward front stance, with his legs immobilized and his arms pinned to his sides. He wriggled his fingers, trying to get to his pocket.

"Let him go Jason he didn't mean it!" Dick yelled.

Damian's Adam's apple was in perfect alignment with the crook of Jason's elbow, and the man holding him slowly pushed his head forward.

His feet scrabbled uselessly. He could feel his air supply thinning.

Was his death fabled to be stranglement via older brother?

"Your choking him!" The voices were hazy, now.

Black spots bled into his vision. He could feel his eyes closing, the warm darkness trying to embrace him.

Tim looked up from his eggs to see Jason killing Damian, Dick standing there, looking like he could murder Jay, and The little Brat as white as a sheet.

Ok, he didn't like the Bratty, self entitled little demonic spawn of hell, but..

He couldn't just let him die.

At least, not with Big Brother watching.

And most certainly not at the hands of Psychotic big brother.

With a swift movement he was out of his chair and slamming a kick into the small of the Rouge Birds back. The next he was grabbing the boy and turning him over in his arms, checking for a pulse.

Dick was trying to calm Jason down, and he had Damian.

Damn, how had the kid not seen, been, at death?

Or maybe that was just the look of back from the dead.

Either way, they were all still alive.

Green eyes met his, large and round and Scared, and then he was hugging him.

He was hugging the Demon-Child.

Damn it.

Jay panted, groaning as he sat up. If Damian had a death glare, the look of death from Dick was ten times worse.

"You asshat! You could have killed him!" Dick was saying.

Jason gave grumbled quiet apologies as his eyes shifted to the youngest.

"Yo'k, baby bird?" He asked quietly.

There was a pregnant pause. Damian shoved Tim away and scrabbled off his lap, still gasping for breath.

"We are even, Todd." Damian, humbled and sulky, muttered. "You are.. A worthy opponent."

Jason grinned devilishly, pulling the kid to his side and giving him a noogie. He was met with half-hearted shoves and helps of "Get off!"

Tim smiled as he watched, the brotherhood restored.

He wouldn't forget those eyes, asking, pleading for help.

He wouldn't sleep that night.

Yes, things were certainly interesting in the Wayne house.


End file.
